palette

i’d paint my life

in greys and browns

earthy hues

textures deep

interesting curves

and in the right

lower 

      c

      o

      r

  ner

your golden 

glorious

joy

  

snapshot

is it true

what i see here

how is your heart

where is your mind

is the smile full

true

real

do you inhale deeply

the tender breath of new day

notice a leaf

hanging in midair

snared by fickle web

do you hum

something you can’t shake

laughing at a tune

that shouldn’t stick

do you savor tiny hands

knowing

they will stay

  

shadow

i step into the night

for solace

for the kind of silence

that makes my ears ring

my head spin

that deafens my heart 

to her own clamoring

and cushions the repercussions

of daylight’s choice

  

now

it requires time

energy

patience

flexibility

let acceptance seep

into the bones

be honest enough

to let it be

loss comes as a train

what-once-was bumping noisily

into what-is

crashing mercilessly

end to end

with this-is-not-enough

after timeenergypatienceflexibility

begin to create new space

i acknowledge

my reality can be anything

so crowdedly alone

emptiness filled only by the Unseen

smiling

squinting

at glorious sunrise

  

acceptance

shouting 
writhing

i raise my fists again

clenched as tight 

as my aching jaw

and curse you 

with bitter breath

but the epithets

bounce

like hail off the shiny

white

hood of the place i lost you

gained you

lost you again

and all the anger in the world

will not change

truth